Zero Tolerance for Stupidity (Original idea based in the Potterverse)

“Come on, Potter, you know better than that!” Draco drawled.  “Why do you keep expecting intelligence out of this one after all these years?”

“Oi!”

“I don’t know, he’s demonstrated intelligence in the past..” Harry protested.

“Yeah?  When?”

Oi!

“Well, he did manage to beat the majority of McGonagall’s giant chess set first year, before sacrificing himself so I could finish the game…”

“Any halfway decent chess player could have done that, Potter…even you could have managed it, I’m sure…”

“Oi!  I’m right here!”

“Then he was one of the first to conjure a Patronus during our defence meetings fifth year…”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Draco muttered.  “But that doesn’t take much intelligence, just a really powerful happy thought.  He must have a ton of those, most of them involving food…”

“Shut it, Malfoy!”

“I’ll give you sixth year, dating Lavender Brown wasn’t the smartest thing he could have done…”

“Still right here, you know…”

“He destroyed the locket Horcrux while we were hunting all of Voldemort’s Horcruxes down so we could finally finish him off…”

“That doesn’t take a lot of intelligence, either, all he had to do was ignore the lies that piece of Voldemort was telling him long enough to do the job…”

“He did finally get around to marrying Hermione…”

Draco smirked.  “That just shows he didn’t want any body parts hexed off…”

“…And you know how Hermione is about stupid people, she has absolutely no tolerance for them whatsoever…”

“So why does she hang around with the Weasel?”

“…Plus he’s best friends with me,” Harry continued as if Draco hadn’t said anything.

“The first true sign of intelligence out of him,” Draco agreed.

“Oi!  Still right here!  Would you stop talking about me like I’m invisible?”

“Oh, sorry Ron, we didn’t see you there,” Harry deadpanned.

“Right…mental, the both of you are completely mental,” Ron muttered.

“Come on, mate, we’re just having you on.  Let’s go drag Hermione out of her office and head for the Leaky Cauldron, we could all do with a pint.  First round’s on me…”

“I thought I was buying the rounds tonight…”

“…Second round’s on Draco.  After that, it’s all you, mate.”

“I can live with that, I suppose,” Ron conceded.  Heading out into the hallway, he yelled, “Oi, Hermione!  Put the books away, we’re going out with the Potters!  They’re buying!”

“Yell a little louder, Weasel, I don’t think they heard you in the Department of Mysteries yet,” Draco muttered.  Harry started laughing as Hermione poked her head out into the hallway and looked in their direction.

“Honestly, Ronald, could you possibly be any louder!  I’ll be out in a minute.”  Hermione ducked back into her office, and she could be heard muttering, “The intelligence of a flobberworm…”

Harry and Draco grabbed Ron and started dragging him down the hallway toward the lifts before he had time to react.

“See what I mean?  Zero tolerance for stupidity,” Draco smirked.

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